Grab Your Y

Most of us remember ROYGBIV from school, but we probably forgot that visible light is only a tiny part of a much larger spectrum. That got me thinking about Black men and our emotional lives. We feel more than we always have language for, and our emotional lives are much broader than many of us were taught to acknowledge.
We feel the whole spectrum, but a lot of us only got language and permission for a few words: mad, stressed, tired, good. So hurt gets called frustration. Anxiety becomes stress. Overwhelm turns into “I’m just tired.” And everything else falls under “I’m good.”
In this episode, I talk about emotional language, permission, self-awareness, and why you are in a relationship with yourself before you become useful to anybody else. I also introduce What’s Good?, an AI-assisted reflection tool I built to help you slow down, name what might be underneath what you’re feeling, and develop more language for what’s happening inside you.
Try it at grabyoury.com/whatsgood.

Some conversations are right on time, even when you do not realize how much you need them. In this episode, I sit down with my brother Troy Kyles, someone I first knew through work and came to know through the space we made for each other to be human. We trace Troy’s story from Chester, Pennsylvania, and summers in Detroit to basketball, family, education, marriage, leadership, and the many examples that shaped his understanding of Black manhood. Then we get into the real stuff: the chaos behind calm, the pressure of always being the responsible one, and what happens when the things you prayed for start feeling like obligations. We talk about the invisible KPIs Black men give ourselves, separating our value from what we produce, finding the village that is actually ours, and why success for a Black man might simply be peace. This one is about giving ourselves permission to rest, fail, love one another, and simply be.

After five years in therapy, I’m preparing to bring that chapter to a close. In this reflective solo episode, I share what therapy has been for me: perspective, language, tools, and a space to finally pay attention to myself. I explore how therapy helped me build capacity, transform my relationship with myself, and respond to life differently during a real season of transition and uncertainty. This episode is for anyone curious about therapy, hesitant to start, or wondering how to know when the work is actually working.
 
 

Dr. Jarvis Sulcer’s journey is not just about earning a PhD. It is about belief. In this episode, I sit down with Jarvis to explore the deeper architecture behind his life: growing up in Louisiana, cutting out STEM role models from Ebony and Jet and putting them on his wall as proof that something bigger was possible, navigating elite academic spaces as a Black man, and ultimately choosing to move from STEM into nonprofit education to expand impact. Jarvis shares the reality of going from a 1.8 GPA to earning a PhD, the village that carried him, and the internal shifts that changed his motivation from chasing success to pursuing purpose. We talk about what it means to be the only and how faith has anchored his journey.

What happens when your hairline calls it quits before you do? In this episode, I peel back the layers, literally and figuratively, on Black men’s relationship with our hair, identity, and confidence. I started losing my hair at 20 years old while I was at Morehouse, back when there was a strict no-hats policy. No cover-ups, no excuses. Just me, my scalp, and a new reality I wasn’t ready for. I talk about what it’s like to go bald early, how it shapes your confidence, and why I think every Black man needs to have this conversation. Expect honesty, a little humor and a few bald head truths along the way. This one’s for every brother learning to let go and laugh while doing it.

It has been ten years since I defended my PhD, and this episode is my reflection on what that decade has meant. The story reaches far beyond the lab. It is about family who believed in me, mentors who sharpened me, and a country in turmoil that demanded my attention even as I pursued science. Morehouse gave me confidence, Chapel Hill tested my resolve, and the rise of Black Lives Matter reshaped my sense of purpose. The PhD gave me rigor and permanence, but it also became a foundation for impact. Now I look ahead to the next decade determined to embrace every part of myself—scientist, podcaster, creative, entrepreneur, and educator—and to live more boldly, more loudly, and more unapologetically than ever before.

I didn’t plan to witness a murder. I didn’t plan to feel it settle in my body or to clean up blood and brain matter from the street outside my home. But I did. And this episode isn’t a comeback story or a tidy reflection. It’s me, a Black man, months later, still figuring out what it means to carry something I never asked for. I talk about what happened, the early days that followed, and the moment I found myself calming down an angry father at the scene of a car accident just blocks away. I couldn’t take any more violence. I see now how I jumped into action for others, how I knew what was needed in the moment, and how that led to a question from my therapist that still echoes: “How can you show up for yourself the way you show up for everyone else?” This episode is about that question and the long, messy road of healing. About what violence leaves behind, even when the world moves on. Let’s talk about it.

In this episode, I chop it up with my brother Dr. Logan Northcutt, fellow Morehouse man, chemist, and proud North Carolinian. From a high school call that sparked our connection to navigating canceled programs and career uncertainty, we trace Logan’s path from small-town roots to carving out space in science and beyond. We talk about what Morehouse gave us, how success and identity can pull in different directions, and what it means to push through when the path gets unclear. This one is about brilliance, Black identity, and showing up even when the ground shifts. You’ll feel this.

At Chapel Hill, our paths converged—two Black men forging our way through academia and bias, and emerging as scientists with a story to tell. I sit down with my brother, Dr. Patrick McCarter, to reflect on the good times competing on the court, and to explore how the grind of the lab and confronting bias led us to therapy and the healing that comes with it. In this intimate conversation, we reclaim our narrative, celebrate resilience, and uncover the strength in owning our journey.

Season 2 of the Grab Your Y podcast opens with a tribute to my grandfather, Papa—a man who lived an uncomplicated yet extraordinary life. Born in 1931 in rural eastern North Carolina, he overcame countless challenges to become the first in his family to graduate from college in 1954. In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with my mom and aunts to reflect on his journey as a Black man navigating a changing world, his quiet resilience, and the profound impact of a life lived with purpose, integrity, and unwavering commitment to family.